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seiya's humanity, usagi's choiceNow let me first begin by stating that this is not an essay advocating Usagi and Seiya as a couple nor is it one where I bash those who do ship these two as a pairing. Quite frankly I do believe that these two would make a fantastic couple together. I am a devoted Usagi/Mamoru diehard but I also feel that Seiya and Usagi suit each other quite well and that they probably would have had a long lasting chance at happiness. However, the fact of the matter is that they are not a couple and the reason is quite simple: Usagi did not choose Seiya. However compatible she might be with Seiya, the only one that Usagi truly loves is Mamoru. She chose Mamoru over Seiya. Still, I can understand what it is that draws Seiya/Usagi shippers to the possibilities of a romantic relationship between these two. In this essay I plan to lightly touch upon these topics, without bashing Seiya but still making it clear as to Usagi's intentions.  I have often read people voicing their disdain for the anime writers for muddying the waters in terms of Usagi and Seiya's relationship appearing to be more than platonic. Indeed there have often been times when Usagi's cheeks flush a pink hue when having Seiya's affectionate gaze upon her. But I think it is important to state that Usagi is a pure and innocent soul, one of who responds unguardedly when one bestows kindness to her. She has not reacted in such a way only to Seiya but to many people of with whom she has interacted with in the past. It is quite clear that Seiya loves Usagi, he has openly divulged such desires and it is not something that I feel that I need to try and pursued anyone to agree. But Usagi's feelings are always upon Mamoru and only Mamoru. She speaks fondly of him to Seiya, thinks about him whenever she feels nervous that Seiya may be trying to advance upon her, states this quite clearly when any of her friends tease her about her friendship with Seiya.  
  This scene in episode 184 may certainly be one of those Seiya/Usagi moments that outrages Usagi/Mamoru fans and serves as a basis for many Seiya/Usagi shippers. Perhaps this is one of those examples of when the writers blur the lines between Usagi's romantic or platonic feelings for Seiya. However, I feel that this scene reveals to the viewer that Usagi does differentiate Seiya from Mamoru, that there is no confliction in her heart or feelings that betrays her from being devoted to Mamoru. As Seiya embraces her, Usagi immediately thinks of Mamoru. She does not lose herself in the warmth and scent of Seiya but instead is immediately pulled back to a memory of her time with Mamoru, his voice, his reassurance, the kindness that his presence evokes. If Usagi had been distracted or in favor of Seiya, she would have dwelled further upon the new sensations of being held by him, not Mamoru.  When Usagi and Seiya are forced apart from one another by their friends, it nearly destroys them. Seiya's anguish is clearly understandable. Usagi is not simply girl who he tried to win over - his intentions with her are not nearly so shallow. She is the person who has brought joy into his life, who he can be himself around, who touches him with her tender nature and unbiased affection. Usagi is the one who Seiya loves most. The loss of Seiya is the catalyst in Usagi's world that is slowly being stripped away. After the departure of Mamoru, Usagi's own confidant, best friend and lover, Seiya was the one who was able to ease through that pain, soothe the ache that Usagi suffered with each day. With Seiya, Usagi was no longer alone. In addition, Usagi's empathetic and sensitive nature had allowed her to form a bond with Sailor Star Fighter. She recognized the loneliness, understood the feeling of loss and abandonment. But most of all the main source of strength and hope for Usagi has always been friendship. Being torn from Seiya meant the loss of another companion, again, with Chibi Usa gone and Mamoru, Usagi was once again being forced to bear the weight of her responsibilities alone. Usagi's reaction to Seiya should not be confused as one of a girl torn from her lover. We have already seen Usagi's reactions when being separated from Mamoru - the utter grief and depression, the fierce determination that eventually settles within Usagi's being. Usagi responds differently when unable to meet with Seiya. She is accepting of the situation, falling into a quiet sadness that clouds the bright light in her eyes. Usagi's response to losing Mamoru is one that is far more desperate, helpless and intense.  
  The scene upon the rainy rooftop is quite possibly the source of many Seiya-haters. This is a moment where Usagi has finally reached her breaking point, is unable to wear that cheerful mask any longer - the mature high-schooler, the confident leader, the smiling Usagi-chan. Her world has crumbled around her without Mamoru there to gather the pieces and fit them gently into place and make it right once again. Usagi falls apart in front of the one person that she has slowly formed the closest bond with: Seiya. And in turn, Seiya is unable to be the better man, the responsible Senshi or the understanding friend. Seiya witnesses Usagi at her most vulnerable and broken state and does the most selfish thing that he has probably ever done: he asks Usagi to choose him instead of Mamoru, the very man that Usagi is pleading to see once again.  Despite this, I cannot fault Seiya at all for his imploring of Usagi. Seiya truly does love Usagi, there is no playful thrill at chasing a girl who has no interest in him, no longer any confusion that he may be drawn to her because she resembles his princess. Seiya loves Usagi and during his time with her he has only heard of this stranger named Chiba Mamoru who refuses to call or write to this girl who adores him. Seiya never had the opportunity to see the love between Usagi and Mamoru. To him, Mamoru is simply a boyfriend and Usagi is Seiya's best friend, the first person to bring light into his life since the destruction of his home planet and everyone that he held dear. Seiya was never aware of how much Mamoru loved Usagi, nor of their past history as both friends and lovers, nor of their bond as Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Kamen. And truly there is nothing more painful than to watch the person you love be completely torn apart by a person who seems to have completely cast them aside. When you see someone you care about in such anguish over a person who seems to not care at all, it is almost primal to want to take that pain away. -- Rebecca (vomitdirt)
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